Friday, I left work a little early to try to do some cleaning at home before Brian got off work and picked up Edison from daycare. I turned up the Christmas worship music, and starting from the living room, began mopping my way to the other end of the house. It was slow work, since we haven't mopped for, oh, a few months? It's bad when you can't remember the last time you mopped.
But when I made it to Edison's room, as I flipped on the light, I felt that the light switch was all sticky. And I couldn't help but smile.
Sticky light switches make me think of our nightly bedtime routine. After Edison has his pajamas on and his teeth brushed, while I hold him up, he switches off the bathroom light, then the hallway light, and then his bedroom light last of all.
I never would have thought there'd be a day that sticky light switches made me happy. Or the puppies, trucks, books, and blocks I see scattered all over the living room floor from where I sit typing.
But when I see toys all over the floor, or touch a sticky light switch, I'm struck by that feeling. The one all mothers know, the feelings of overwhelming love, joy in this moment, fear that life is going by too fast, sadness of knowing how fleeting it is, sheer happiness in the present. All mingled and combined into the emotion that is motherhood.
So, I'm trying to take each day slowly. My house isn't decorated as much or as well as I'd like, like the photos I can't stop pinning on Pinterest, but Edison loves the Christmas tree (and especially the switch that turns the lights on and off) just as it is.
We haven't made any cute Christmas crafts. I probably won't have time to put together clever gifts for his teachers at daycare. I forgot to get the mailman anything. I've fallen behind on my Advent calendar and devotional, but the scripture and lessons for the days I have done has been a blessing. I might not get all the gifts for all the people I'd like, or send enough Christmas cards, or bake anything at all.
After all, people, I've just mopped my floor for the first time in ... a very long while, so that should tell you where to set your expectations.
We probably won't go do all the fun Christmas activities, or fit in all of the Christmas movies, or see all the people we'd like to see while we're in Iowa for Christmas. But I don't want this Christmas to go by wishing I'd done more, or seen more, or had more. I just want to be truly present in each moment.
I think that's the best gift I can give.
Labels: Christmas, Edison, Family, Life, motherhood