I dropped my purse and keys on my desk, kicked off my black flats, and settled onto the couch. I sighed happily and smiled. Something good is coming! By this fall, I'll have at least a part-time job, if not TWO part-time jobs!
That was July. This is September.
After starting out so full of promise, the story of my summer 2013 became one long waiting game.
In the spring, I applied for variety of jobs, and mailed a pitch for an article and a corresponding item to a craft magazine. I received rejections for most of my job applications, and eventually I gave up on the rest of them.
In June, I applied for and landed a summer internship position that, although unpaid for the summer, could turn into a part-time job. At the same time, a law firm contacted me about a part-time administrative assistant position I'd applied for months ago. I interviewed over the phone, then in person, and then I made it to the final round - interviewing with 11 people for a full 8 hour day. Intense, exhausting, and yet, tired as I was, I felt almost positive that this was going to work out.
Finally, I'd not only have a job, but a job that would give me the opportunity to make a difference in the world, plus allow me to pursue my other passions on the side. And, combined with a the part-time job in social media from my internship, I could actually make a full-time income.
Then it all fell apart. Due to some restructuring, they eliminated the position and wouldn't be able to hire anyone for the job. But they contacted me August 1st because they had a full-time opportunity available. I spent that weekend with the youth group trip to California, and the roller coasters we rode at Knott's Berry Farm couldn't compare to the emotional roller coaster I was riding.
So on August 14th, I interviewed for the fourth time. The last time I heard from them was Labor Day weekend. Right around this time, it turned out that the business I was interning with couldn't afford to hire me part-time in the fall. On Monday, my internship ended. And now, I'm just waiting.
The warm, promising glow of summer has given way to gray clouds of disappointment and cold, cold rain.
At first, it looks like all a waste. What was the point? All those interviews, all that work, and I'm right where I started.
Last week, I came across an old favorite passage of mine. I hadn't read the whole passage since 2009, but one verse was set as my desktop background, a friend shared it during small group, and I read it again the next day in a Bible study book. I knew it wasn't coincidence. Lamentations 3:19-33:
I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
Let him sit alone in silence,
for the Lord has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.
For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.
Although at times, it still seems like this summer was a waste, I know that God doesn't willingly bring me affliction. This waiting period is shaping and molding me. A few good things that have come out of this job process include:
- I'm better at interviews! Not only have I had a lot of them over the summer, I've had a lunch interview and a panel interview for the first time
- I'm confident that I can present myself professionally, and be a serious candidate at a company with very high standards
- I had to overcome my fear of driving on the interstate, three times
- I grew my design portfolio and experience by designing a website, Facebook pages, Twitter profiles, and YouTube channel.
- I learned more about social media scheduling, and how to increase interaction
- I learned to deal with disappointments, even though I didn't always handle them well at the time
- Through all of it, I've developed more patience and perseverance
And remember that back in the spring, I sent an article to a craft magazine? I got to preview the spread yesterday! They accepted it, and I'm going to be PUBLISHED! I'll share more details with you as it gets closer, but suffice it to say that "excited" is an understatement!
I've been thinking a lot about what I'm doing during this waiting time. How am I using this time while I'm not working? How can I make the most of the time I have?
Have you ever experienced a time period of waiting? Did you you make the most of it, or looking back now, what would you do differently? I'd love to read your thoughts in the comments!
Labels: After College, Faith, faith during trials, Life