It started with a tension, a feeling that God was going to do something, soon. Then I read the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker, which tore me up. Then two weeks in a row I heard sermons on James 1:27, which I talked about some in my post, the inconvenience of true religion. Then last night at youth group, what was the lesson about?
Money. The love of money, in fact. Talk about a gut check. We read and discussed these convicting passages:
Matthew 6:19-21 really stood out to me:
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Maybe you're like me, thinking "I don't love money that much." Well, our lesson had a handy little quiz that shattered that illusion pretty fast.
- If you had to give up all your stuff today, could you do it?
- If you lost or gave up all your stuff, how would it make you feel?
And then the real kickers. On a scale from 1-6,
- If you lost a twenty dollar bill, how upset would you be?
- When something newer and better comes out, how much do you want it?
- How much do you feel success is determined by money?
- How much do you depend on money?
- How much do you like or enjoy having money?
My honest answers were not pretty. I couldn't give up everything I had...I'd really want to keep my make up at least. How much do I depend on money? I'd give it a 5. Let's flip that question around, how much do I depend on God's provision for me, verses depending on money? Probably a 2, if the amount I stress out over money is any evidence. How much do I like or enjoy having money? I enjoy seeing the numbers for my bank account go up. Shopping and buying stuff makes me happy, even if it is brief. So I honestly derive quite a bit of enjoyment from money, and that's just sad. There are lasting, worthwhile, beneficial, and just plain better things to find joy in.
This morning, I watched this video as the Bloom Book Club discussed chapter 3 of Seven. I thought it was crazy when Jen and her family were going to give away 7 things a day for a month for a total of 210 things, it sounded like a lot. But they ended up giving away more than one thousand, and not even missing them.
Where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Something's gotta change. I've got to change. Not just for simplicity's sake. Not just for my peace of mind or to relieve my conscience. Not just because we're moving to a smaller place.
We had a great discussion at youth group, and it's interesting how much the teens, even as young as twelve, honestly admitted to loving money, even though most of them don't have jobs or a steady income. I don't want to see them getting sucked into the "I want it" and "I deserve it" consumerism mentality. If I'm going to be a good example to them, I've got to change.
I've got to break up with my stuff.
And I've got an idea. What if I fasted? For one month. Deprived myself to drive me to my only true satisfaction in life, my loving heavenly Father. Weaned away from false promises of joy, how would my life change? How would I change?
So I want to fast, not from food, or even from TV, like I have in the past. A clothing fast, in which I'll wear ten items of clothing, and only ten, for one month. (Underwear doesn't count though. There must be unlimited underwear!).
So that means something like three bottoms, four tops, a dress, a jacket, and a pair of shoes. No accessories. No scarves (gasp!). And no shopping.
And what will I gain? I hope that I'd gain insight into why I buy as many clothes as I do. What do I hope to get from them? Confidence? Happiness? Self-esteem? All of the above.
Deprived of the shopping crutch, I want to learn to lean on my Savior.
I haven't worked through the specifics yet, like what exactly I'll wear, but I think October will be the perfect month for it. It will also be a great segway into sharing what I've learned about fair trade and ethically made clothing.
I challenge you to ask yourself the quiz questions above. If the Holy Spirit convicts you in an area, I pray that you won't try to drown out His voice.
Labels: Faith, Fashion, Making a Difference, materialism, Spiritual Growth, style, youth group